Snail Bell
by Dreamnorn
Summary: Snails POV. "Other ponies' opinions never bothered me much. There was only one exception." In which he tries to overcome his inability to speak for the sake of revealing his lo... err, "like" to a certain somepony. Snails/Sweetie Belle CRACK PAIRING.


**To all of you who are checking this out after knowing me for my Spyro or Hetalia fanfics, don't say a word.**__** I'm not an obsessive fan, just someone who appreciates a good show for what it is. I know I'm not alone and dagnabbit, I wanted to write fanfiction. So here I am.**

**What I find amusing about the realm of fanart for this show is that I've NEVER seen a story or a drawing of a het pairing with characters that **_**weren't**_** somehow related. Granted, there's an almost-entirely female cast, but the few males can be paired with ponies who AREN'T their sisters, you know? I'm not saying fanart for these doesn't exist, but I figured I would put something new out there, anyway.**

**This is a crack pairing, but the idea was too sweet to ignore. This takes place AFTER the Cutie Mark Crusaders met each other and BEFORE the talent show. I hope you like it!**

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><p>Snail Bell<p>

Out of all the ponies in Ms. Cheerilee's classes, I'm the one who does the least talking. She never understood why. But the thing is I know I ain't the articulate type. Words ain't easy. They feel funny coming out of my mouth, like I'm some kind of cow and I'm hiccupping my cud back up to chew. Except I'm not a cow, I'm a horse. A unicorn. Besides my horn, I'm dirt average.

On the outside, I mean. I know that I'm weird. What's weirder is that I'm okay with this. Other ponies' opinions never bothered me much. I got my cutie mark; I know who I am. And I know I like to take my time. If ponies were more patient, I could try and make a sentence and explain why it takes me so long to answer them. But because I want to say things just right, I take a while, and after ten seconds or so they think I'm stupid and go away. When I'm flustered it makes things worse; I end up saying something that might not be related to nothing at all and that darn near _guarantees_ me being filed as a plain old idiot.

They always leave. They think I'm a waste of time.

Normally, I don't care. I don't need to talk to ponies to be happy. Never did. All I need's a quiet spot where I can sit and think. I think about all kinds of things I know I could never say. I almost got my own philosophy going. Can it be called that? Like I said, I ain't much of a talker.

I observe. I note the snails blazing their trails, taking their time, persistent yet patient. They're my role models. I know I'm like them, following my own pace, not much complaining no matter how much weight I carry, letting the wind roll off my shoulders and keeping on, keeping on.

Maybe someday I'll master the art of being a snail. Maybe someday I'll stop caring. Other ponies' opinions never bothered me much. There was only one exception.

_~ Snail Bell ~_

Ms. Cheerilee has four classes — one every weekday, with Friday off. I'm in her Thursday class. She says that we're the talkiest bunch and, by the smile that's on her face when she sees us chat, she likes ponies like my classmates. Conversation's usually on upcoming or recent events in Ponyville, from the Winter Wrap-Up to applebuck season to some filly's cuteciñera. It's a small town. Ponies don't seem to find nothing more interesting to talk about, but they always seem so… _engaged_.

I never was. Why should I talk about Diamond Tiara's new cutie mark when I could be dreaming of things I can only see with my mind's eye? Don't they value their imaginations? I think that everypony should have an imagination, because every imagination is different. It's sort of like a cutie mark, only bigger and specialer and importanter. Don't they see that?

Little town, little ponies. They're smaller than they know.

The teacher walked to the chalkboard with a bigger smile than normal. I'm sure a lot of the ponies in my class didn't really notice, because Ms. Cheerilee _always_ smiled and her smiles were _always_ big. I took my head out of the clouds and sat with my ears perked to attention and eyes ready for details.

"Settle down, my little ponies, settle down," she cooed. My class quickly fell into its almost-quiet state. I can't say it's completely quiet because everypony in the back likes to talk and whisper in class. It's sometimes hard to focus when they do that.

I heard a snap behind the teacher's desk. I had no idea what it was, but I had a feeling I was going to find out.

With that big old grin on her face, she continued, "All right, everypony. We have a new student today. She's transferring here from my Tuesday class. Would everypony please put on a happy face and introduce yourselves to your newest classmate, Sweetie Belle!"

As soon as she was done talking, a little unicorn filly walked out from behind the table. My first impression was that she was kind of pretty; she had huge green eyes and purple streaks in her pink mane, but they weren't bold and bright like other ponies'. Every color on her was light and dusty in a good way. It was kind of nice to see that somepony didn't have a neon pelt these days. Those hurt my eyes.

Sweetie Belle gave the class a shy smile. The other ground ponies and unicorns stomped their hooves on the tables with excitement. Lots of them began talking at the same time, ready to introduce themselves to the new pony.

"Hey there!"

"Wassup?"

"Nice to meet you."

I felt somepony nudge my shoulder, snapping me out of my head and back to reality. I jumped a little and turned to see Snips, my first and only best buddy, smirking in the seat to the right of me. "Hey, Snails," he snickered, "get a load of the newbie unicorn! What's with her hair? It'll never ever be as cool as my awesome 'do."

_I might not become barber like you, but I think her hair looks okay as it is,_ I thought, frowning a little._ It suits her._

"Uhh," I said out loud after a moment, "I think it's nice, eh?" I cringed at myself.

Snips spluttered a little, spittle leaping off his lips. "Sure, it's _nice,_ but it's just not _cool._ There's a huge difference between nice and cool. Besides, her hair looks like it hasn't been cut in eons. She really needs a trim!"

_Her hair looks fine to me. Part of me thinks you might be jealous because you cut off a bunch of your own mane on accident. Why are we talking about this, anyway?_

The blue unicorn narrowed his orange eyes, puffing out his chubby cheeks. I knew by his irritated look that he was expecting an answer and, once again, I was taking too long.

"Oh, uhh," I stuttered, ears drooping a little, trying to find words. "I think you better ask her first."

Snips rolled his eyes and turned back to the teacher. After a few seconds of thinking about what I had just said, my hoof met my forehead. _'I think you better ask her?' Stupid! Why didn't you say 'I don't think it needs to be cut?' It's short, not that hard, and at least then you're being honest._

Yeah. I already knew I couldn't communicate. Why do I even bother?

My eyes wandered until they landed on the unicorn in the front of the class. Sweetie Belle, huh? I blinked slowly. She looked as sweet as her name sounded. Real bashful, too. I tried to imagine how she got that for her name. I know I got mine because my parents are uncreative and by good luck it turned out to fit me. But Sweetie Belle? _I wonder…_

"Umm, excuse me?"

"Huh?"

My eyes shot back to focus. Sweetie Belle was on my left, taking the empty desk next to mine. She gave me a kind and curious look and opened her mouth like she was going to say something, but closed it really fast. I heard her take a deep breath before starting again. "Hi, there… I'm Sweetie Belle. What's your name?"

A question! I ain't never been good with questions. I had to force myself to smile back while I tried to find my voice again. It has a habit of leaving me when ponies ask me stuff. "M-my name… my name... name… uh… mine…."

_Calm down, Snails. Easy, now. You can do this. Just answer her. Make a good impression._

"Name's Snails," I smiled. I could have fell down in relief. My embarrassed look turned into a real grin from getting that off of my chest, and I felt myself relax in my seat. I just hoped she didn't ask another question.

Sweetie Belle tilted her head at me and gave me a tiny smile, eyelids curved in this sort of caring way that made me feel a little self-conscious. She looked to the side. "It's nice to meet you," the unicorn murmured, "I've never seen you in Ponyville before. Do you live around here? I've been here my whole life and I was just wondering, because I don't remember seeing you."

Of course. I knew I'd get another question. I must have jinxed myself!

I stumbled, "Uhh, no—no! I… I do live here. I was born in Ponyville, too."

"Do you live in the town? Or on one of the farms surrounding it?"

"The… err… farms. Hay fields. My parents, they… uhh…" I searched for a good word, "…they farm. Hay. In the fields."

I paused. "The fields where I live, I mean."

Sweetie Belle's smile broadened. "That's cool! My friend Applebloom lives out there, but I've never seen it. My sister's really serious about me staying away from dirty things because it could mess up my mane and hooves. She…"

I noticed that her voice was growing a little louder with every word she said. Was it just me, or was that shyness going away as she talked to me? I'm not the best pony when it comes to social things, and I would admit that if I could speak with any composure. But the fact that she seemed more comfortable made me feel kind of special. Accomplished. Even if I wasn't saying much, it looked like Sweetie Belle could have maybe in some dimension wanted to be my friend. It was an amazing feeling.

When Snips and I met, he told me that I looked cool and should hang out with him. That's how we got to know each other. But I never met somepony like this before.

It was kind of nice.

Wait a second. She stopped talking. Sweetie Belle blinked curiously, giving me that expectant look I'd seen a million times on Snips's face whenever I talked to him.

That couldn't be good. I needed to improvise something!

"That sounds cool."

Out of all the replies I could've picked, that was probably the dumbest, but I guess it was a fitting response to whatever she said. "I'm glad you think so," she hummed, "You know, we really need to talk again sometime!"

What.

What.

"What?"

Sweetie Belle giggled at me. I can imagine what my face looked like: confused, flustered, and unsure. An uncomfortable heat rose from my stomach to my face. I sort of felt like I swallowed a rabbit and it was kicking me from the inside.

"You heard me!" she chuckled. "If you want to, really. I don't know anypony in this class that well, and you seem like you're nice. But, umm," she looked in the direction of her hip opposite me, "i-if you don't want to… I think I can see why…."

"What? No!" I word-barfed impulsively. She gave me wide eyes, her mouth open slightly in surprise. I stopped for a second. _Great, now she wants a fast answer. Think of something!_

I wheezed, "I'd love to. You, uhh," I searched for a word, "you seem nice, too."

Sweetie Belle smiled, but she didn't seem to want to meet my eyes. For a scary second I thought I said something wrong. I was about to take it back when she gave me a sideways glance and chuckled, "Okay. Lunchtime?"

"Uhhh."

There was a moment of silence as my brain tried to figure out what just happened. After a few seconds, it finally hit me. Somepony really _wanted _to talk to me. Me, the slowest, clumsiest, awkwardest speaker in all Equestria! And… and she seemed sincere, too. Sweetie Belle was looking me in the eye by now, her forest green irises glittering with hope.

The rabbit in my gut started kicking me harder.

_One word, Snails. One word is all it takes. You can manage to say one word, can't you?_

She looked so hopeful….

I swallowed nervously. Softly grinning back at her, I breathed the magic word.

"Sure."

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><p><strong>I don't know if I'm going to continue this, but I like the way this is going so far. It took me forever to write, though. I literally had to look this over a dozen times to remove any "higher" vocabulary to what I presume is Snails's level <strong>_**and**_** add in klutzy errors in order to keep his voice and age consistent throughout. My first draft of this piece had him talking like a college professor, but Snails is a clumsy kid and I figured I needed to show that better.**

**Tl;dr. I nerfed the grammar to make it Snails-esque. If you catch any mistakes you think are **_**unintentional,**_** though, please feel free to let me know so I can correct it as soon as possible.**

**Think I should continue this? Should I stop this fallacy of a pairing right in its tracks and burn this off the internet? Reviews are always appreciated!**


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